Tag Archives: resiliency

1925. The Tri-State Tornado

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I have been researching the 1925 record-breaking tornado that leveled numerous small towns and killed over 600 people across Missouri, Illinois, and Indiana. That tornado still holds the record for death toll, time on the ground, and distance traveled. One factor that contributed to the terror felt by the communities was that there was no warning except for the dark clouds they noted in the southwest. No time to get to safety. Weather services were not equipped to predict the path of tornadoes  at that time. In fact, tornadoes were so unpredictable that weather services were not permitted to use that term because of the panic it might incite.

My interest in this storm was piqued by having had the privilege of talking to several survivors at one of the nursing facilities where I am a consultant. The stories of loss are heartbreaking, but the determination and courage shown by the survivors is inspiring. It is difficult to imagine losing every possession, one’s home, or several children within a matter of minutes. Many of the victims were trapped in basements, crushed beneath heavy objects, burned to death as coal stoves fell and timbers ignited. Clean-up included, not just pulling the rubble aside and rebuilding, but also searching for and identifying the bodies of loved ones, binding the wounds of the injured.

I am writing a work of fiction based on the experiences I’ve heard or read about relating to that tragic event. I hope to show the depth and extent of the devastation felt in the communities. But my focus will be on the way the destruction may have changed the survivors, and on their ability to find the will to mend and move forward.

 

 

Family Matters

Mothers’ Day. Fathers’ Day. Fourth of July reunions. These summer celebrations stir up childhood memories–some wonderful, some not so good. This stirring up can lead to altercations, depressive episodes, and the resurfacing of old accusations. Add alcohol, and some family gatherings end up in fistfights and arrests. Many, many people have pasts filled with hurt, but harboring anger, no matter how justified, is not the best strategy.

The most resilient among us have found ways to forgive the past and celebrate the present. That doesn’t mean they’ve said “That’s all right” to any traumatic experiences. It doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten or that they’ve shoved their feelings into a locked box. Real forgiveness cannot occur in such situations because the traumatized individual continues to feel victimized and weak.

Forgiveness comes from a position of power within, and it is a privilege to witness this spiritual and psychological muscle develop in those I work with. Some have re-established relationships with their formerly abusive parents, even to the point of becoming caregivers. Others have assertively set boundaries or completely cut contact with family members who continue to trigger hurtful memories or even persist in inflicting pain. Any of these choices can be the right one.

These paths signify forgiveness in that the message given is “I have moved on. I will not have my life controlled any longer by old memories or negative emotions. I am no longer consumed by anger or fear or hurt. I no longer harbor the toxins of grudges, ill-will, and vengeance.”  The compulsion to waste precious energy on spewing venom or wishing the worst toward old abusers is gone, which is forgiveness. And the release of that negativity is a terrific gift to give ourselves.