Tag Archives: Author

Family Tapestries

I just finished reading The Art of Mending by Elizabeth Berg. I find that novels often tell the truth in a way that textbooks can’t. What I liked about this story was the way it demonstrated the fact that no two of us are raised in the same family–even siblings. Ms. Berg’s novel centers around the vastly different perspectives that a brother and two sisters have on the atmosphere of their childhood home. The book takes the reader down an uncertain path, a guessing game of which sibling is telling the truth, to the final pages of, not just a revelation, but a healing and cleansing. I am deliberately vague here, because I encourage those who are drawn to stories of family dynamics to read this novel without any spoilers.

The novel recalled for me the concept of “the looking-glass self,” a term coined by social psychologist Charles Horton Cooley in 1902. The theory proposes that we shape our self-concepts based on how we think we are perceived by others–especially family members. If we are labeled (especially by a parent) as “the shy one,” “the fussy one,” “the brainy one,” “the plump one,”  “the athletic one,” the pretty one”, then our role in the family is far different from that of our siblings, and, therefore, our family experience is different. Worse, we are likely to buy into those labels and put ourselves in boxes for years. But only if we allow that to happen.

It is exciting to see clients who had come into my office with such low opinions of themselves that they couldn’t even look me in the eye begin to build positive self-images, to discover gifts and talents and psychological muscle. It is not an easy process, or a quick one, but step by step the client grows toward the sun. Like the recluse who became a social leader, the frightened abuse survivor who became a spokeswoman, the slow learner who enrolled in college, the addict who earned a graduate degree. Everyone of these and many more came into the office with a negative label. Everyone of them found the courage to toss it away.

1925. The Tri-State Tornado

img_0200

I have been researching the 1925 record-breaking tornado that leveled numerous small towns and killed over 600 people across Missouri, Illinois, and Indiana. That tornado still holds the record for death toll, time on the ground, and distance traveled. One factor that contributed to the terror felt by the communities was that there was no warning except for the dark clouds they noted in the southwest. No time to get to safety. Weather services were not equipped to predict the path of tornadoes  at that time. In fact, tornadoes were so unpredictable that weather services were not permitted to use that term because of the panic it might incite.

My interest in this storm was piqued by having had the privilege of talking to several survivors at one of the nursing facilities where I am a consultant. The stories of loss are heartbreaking, but the determination and courage shown by the survivors is inspiring. It is difficult to imagine losing every possession, one’s home, or several children within a matter of minutes. Many of the victims were trapped in basements, crushed beneath heavy objects, burned to death as coal stoves fell and timbers ignited. Clean-up included, not just pulling the rubble aside and rebuilding, but also searching for and identifying the bodies of loved ones, binding the wounds of the injured.

I am writing a work of fiction based on the experiences I’ve heard or read about relating to that tragic event. I hope to show the depth and extent of the devastation felt in the communities. But my focus will be on the way the destruction may have changed the survivors, and on their ability to find the will to mend and move forward.

 

 

An Inspiring Woman

?????????I met Dianne Drake five years ago at a writers’ workshop when I was just beginning to test the waters of getting creative writing published. She was very encouraging regarding my partially-completed manuscript, but it was her example that was most inspiring. She had written over thirty romance novels for publishers such as Harlequin, and is a best-selling medical romance writer in Europe. When I caught up with her again this past July, She was completing manuscripts for her 48th, 49th, and 50th novels–all of them already sold.

I don’t know when Dianne became disabled. She has been wheel-chair bound since I have known her. But her spirit and optimism are contagious. I wish every one of my clients who has a chronic illness could meet her and realize how much they have yet to offer the world.

Dianne had been a nurse in an earlier career, which gives her the inside scoop to tell convincing stories set in hospitals or with medical issues as a part of the plot.