Monthly Archives: September 2013

Where are you putting your crown?

Today I was reminded of a long-ago client who had broken her foot. It never healed properly and, despite surgery, she would no longer able to do long-distance running. We discussed her deep sense of loss and frustration and we worked together to put her disappointment behind her, but, after weeks of therapy, she continued to spend her days hiding in her bedroom, sobbing loudly, unable to eat or sleep or engage in any of the activities she had found satisfying prior to the injury, unable to find pleasure or peace from any source.

Finally I said to her, you have put a crown on your foot because your foot has become the ruler of all you say and think and do. Eventually, this client was able to move forward and discover many things she enjoyed. I applaud her ability to move on and to find alternative sports that were just as invigorating and exciting to her as running had been.

Now, whenever I am frustrated or worried or bogged down, I ask myself where am I putting my crown today? What is running my life and coloring my thoughts at that moment?   If it’s something superficial or negative or from the distant past or about a situation beyond my control, I remove that “crown” and give my power to issues that are meaningful, changeable, and positive.

Hypnosis

One reader asks if hypnosis can help with social anxiety.

The answer is yes, most of the time. Although most of the clients I have treated for this problem have found rapid improvement in their symptoms, there have been a few who have had difficulty moving into a state of relaxation deep enough to allow the intervention to be successful. For those clients, EMDR, guided imagery, or other methods have worked better.

Strategy: When There is Nothing To Be Done

Savielly Tartakover, a Grand Master of chess from Poland, was quoted as saying, “Tactics is knowing what to do when there is something to do. Strategy is knowing what to do when there is nothing to do.”

I have been reminded of this time and again when I meet with clients who have survived tremendous hardship and abuse as children. There was truly nothing that they could do to change their worlds. Yet they found ingenious strategies to preserve their spirits and maintain their sense of hope and possibility. Along with the nightmares and the panic attacks and the tears, they bring to my office determination and courage and inner strength. These are the transcenders who inspire me.